MNers out there...

Please tell me it isn't only me who does this...

I had to edit a whole post on here last night because I had done ^this^ when I wanted italics!!! I keep trying to do [[ ]] for links too.

Someone stole night time!

I swear it.

I went to bed, I closed my eyes, then the alarm went off.

I was really disoriented, convinced that I had set it wrong and it was only 2 mins after I got into bed.

Have woken up feeling tired before, but never experienced waking and being convinced I hadn't actually fallen asleep yet.

Now very disoriented, trying desperately to wake up/feel like I have slept so I can get lunchbox sorted, hair done etc.

Sux.

I HATE hormones! RARGH!

Ok, so Boy probably hates them more, but he doesn't get to count because they are my hormones and therefore everything is about me. Me, me, me!

I want to kill. Everything is having a nails on blackboard sensation.

People keep breathing at me funny, let alone the way they are looking.

I hate money. I want salt laden poppadums and curry but we have no bloody money for it because it is January and money is always hell in January. Oh, and February because you are still recovering from January and have 3 birthdays all on the same day, 2 the two days after, one of those you owe 2 years worth of presents so it will cost even more, and one is your son!

Until I do all the adding up I can't even risk buying cheap aldi wine because I need to work out the budget for the month.

Boy isn't helping me (most likely for fear of being yelled at for doing it wrong).

I have turned into a fire breathing beast. It is mainly pmt, and a small part disappointment - having had to ponder for the last 2 weeks about whether my stomach pains are baby related, it gave me time to get used to the idea of having one. I know having one would be stupid for sooo many reasons, but my baby is suddenly not a baby anymore and dammit I'm broody.

So, here I sit, playing cards

"I see spiders mummy"

"Hmmm?"

"What are those spiders for mummy?"

"They are stopping me killing people."

"Oh..."



I want to be a MAN. They go bald and get a bit impotent. I can handle that.

How do we solve a problem like not sleeping?

Another fun night from Flameboy.

He seems to be happy enough to sleep in his bed during the day, and during the night with the bottle, but not without one at night - it is then that he wants company.

So - rather than the various camps on the floor theory, or making the bed more enclosed, I'm now pondering whether or not we should just lose the bottles.

The timing is the problem though - now is not wise, I am pmt ravaged woman and will soon to be mopey "I wanna be a man" woman. Half term is going to be hectic what with going away, so again not wise. First week back after half term will be exhausting enough for Flamechick without sobbing boy in her room.... but then I can probably find a reason not to do it any time!!! Flamechick still gets upset about not having bottles NOW, and she stopped them over 12 months ago.

I will think on it some more.

In the meantime, Flamechick has had 5 dry nights out of 6 and wants to stop wearing pull ups. Last time that lead to her being very very tired, but we were lifting her. Seeing as she has been dry without lifting, it should be better. I've promised her she can try from Friday night.

For today's experiment Flameboy will try....

So, yesterday was how far up one's nostril will the average raisin go?

Today when we went to see Hatt, he decided to try something a little different....

I present:

Will my arse fit through a cat flap?

Apparently not!

Being the kind, caring parents we are, we did not leave him there to cry whilst we ran to find a camera... it was in our hands to begin with... oh yes, it was.... honest.

"Yeh. Stuck!"

It is always wise to be slightly concerned when a small boy comes in with half his finger up his nose saying "Stuck". Especially if raisins had been being eaten just prior.

He doesn't tend to stick his finger that far up as a rule.

So....

"Your finger's stuck?"

"Noooooooooo"

"A raisin is stuck?"

"Yeh. Stuck!"

So. What do you do in that situation? Not having done it before, I did what I always do with a new child problem - post on MN and call Psycho.

Psycho had me laying him back and shining a torch up his nose. The only one I had projects a spider onto the wall, but it gave off enough light for me to see that it was well and truly stuck out of my reach. She said A&E. MN said get him to blow his nose/sneeze* - wasn't happening, grab it with tweezers - I'm lethal enough with chopsticks let alone my pointy tweezers up a wriggling boy's nose, get to A&E.

Soooooooo - off we went. Called Gran to explain and ask her to collect Flamechick. Called Boy to tell him to meet us there from work.

A&E staff kept pretty much a straight face as they hoiked said raisin back out with tweezers. Flameboy glared at them when they threw away his raisin (waste of good food clearly). Once it was out he proudly pointed to his nose and said "Gone!"

Car journey home:

"Mummy..... Gone!"

"Yes. Did it hurt having a raisin up there?"

"Yeh"

"Are you going to do it again?"

"Yeh!"

Oh dear......




*further advice arrived after I left telling me to hold the good nostril, blow in his mouth and he should exhale from his nose. I will bear that in mind next time it happens... there will be a next time...

Woohoo! She's PREGNANT!

Noooooooooo, don't panic - I am not "she"

She is a very good friend of mine who has been trying for nearly two years now (her daughter is the same ages a Flameboy) - after trying for aaaaaaaaaaages for her first, this much wanted second pregnancy is now here!

Congratulations! I'm so pleased for you, even if it does mean that half term will involve me drinking your share of wine, and The Big Piss Up #2 will be very sober too ;)

Now... just adding up... 1st week of October I think!

Is it procrastinating when you just aren't doing ANYTHING?

I can't be arsed.

I have orders to package up. Dinner to cook. My house looks like hell. I have finances to sort/cry over. I can't even be arsed to MN Not even browse the nappy threads in the name of "networking".

I just want to curl up with a bag of wotsits in front of the tv for an hour whilst Flameboy sleeps.

Not that he is sleeping. He rubbed his eyes lots, conned a bottle out of me, and now appears to be alternating between moving furniture round his room, and standing at the gate saying "Eyo!"

I want my rargh back. I think back to when I was doing FLYlady many moons ago - my house was straight enough for me to be thinking "NOW try turning up on my doorstep for coffee and see if I panic! Huzzah!". I couldn't sit still - I would keep leaping up to shine a sink or put away washing or something.

That feeling has well and truly flown though (I never did work out what FLY stood for...). Now I sit surrounded by dead cheerios, washing waiting to be dried and/or put away, a work surface covered in crumbs, a sink I have relinquished to Boy who is doing more housework than me right now so is currently keeping to his side of the bargain (dishes, bins, hoovering... he can't hoover because that would involve me tidying for him to find the carpet).

I want to lose Flameboy for a few days, put the ipod on LOUD, and clean to my heart's content. Oh, someone will have to take away the ntl box for me at the same time as taking Flameboy (that would stop tv watching AND internet).

Why do other women manage to be clean and tidy and have a routine?

All is quiet upstairs... I think that is more a sign that he is stripping the beds than sleeping, but if I stay quiet long enough he should remember he is tired and sleep.

Maybe just 30 mins to myself... then I will find motivation.

Bedtimes used to be easy

I remember taking Flamechick up to bed, sitting and reading a story to her/with her, giving her a kiss and then her either sleeping or playing happily for a while until she put herself to bed.

Then Flameboy came along, things were harder what with the yelling from the cot, but still, it happened.

Now.... Rarely does the book reading happen because he clambers all over us and closes the book. Instead of the playing happily or going to sleep we now have fighting with each other or yelling about toilet/drink/cold (all of these are always fixed before bed so they are just stalling tactics.

Staggered bedtimes tend not to work because he wakes as soon as I try to put her to bed and then we are left with him sobbing/"bo'le"/climbing on her bed.

I miss my time with my baby. She misses out on so much now because either Flameboy causes havoc and stops the activity, or because she is that much harder that I find it easier to do things with him. :(

I really need to make a more concerted effort, but for tonight it is just going to have to be "Flameboy's in my bed Mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy!"

Sleep is for the weak

I'm sure I love my son. Right now though it is Very Very Hard.

He has decided that he can only sleep with a bottle in his mouth, or Boy or myself laying next to him until he falls asleep.

He was lovely - he would go to his cot, drink his bottle, sleep nicely.

Then escape artist Flameboy was born, he was hurting himself leaping to freedom, so the bunkbeds came.

But the problem is, he has always liked sleeping in squished little spaces. When Flamechick was born we had the moses basket, but she wanted space, so went into the proper cot after a couple of weeks. So, for Flameboy I decided we would just use the bassinet bit of the travel cot until he was ready to move into his own room. He hated it. He slept best wedged inside a v-shaped pillow inside the carry cot from the pram. He was in his crib until he was sitting up and leaning out of it, and even then he wasn't impressed with the size of the cot.

The bed is HUGE. Curled up he still fits completely onto a pillow. He hates it, he tries to sleep with Flamechick, he cries at the gate for us, 9 times out of 10 he sleeps on the floor by the gate. Last night, after 18oz of milk in total, the fridge was empty. I refused to sleep in with him. So he screamed, and screamed, and screamed for most of the night (he would sleep in stages, but then wake up and remember he should be screaming).

Today, we're both exhausted. He has just gone to bed now, started the screaming again. He was so red and distressed he was going to make himself ill, so I gave in and cuddled him to sleep.

I don't know how to fix this. Pondering a tent in the bedroom so he gets the closed in feeling. I don't think he can escape the travel cot yet, but I think it would only be a couple of nights.

My lovely little boy is very very broken and I am at a loss as to how to fix it.

Do we ever see ourselves as we really are?

So many tv programmes with supersize/superskinny. BMI bans on models. Anorexia/bulimia admissions increased. These are just the extreme cases... what about the "normal" woman?

For myself, I have lost weight - but I cannot see it. I see myself as the size I was, not what I am now. I look at clothes in shops and assume they will look hideous because I am picturing them on my old body. I put on a couple of pounds so my jeans become snug, and I feel house sized - it doesn't seem to matter that a pair of snug size 10s is different to a pair of snug large 14s!

Then you have my friend who is stunning, but she sees herself as hugely overweight because she used to be a stick. She won't be happy until she is stick sized again, and even when she is stick sized, she still won't be happy because that won't be what she sees in the mirror.

Is everyone like it? Nearly all of the women I know are... I don't know about the men. Maybe it is something that you need less testosterone to feel?

It has nothing to do with celeb magazines, the news, meeja images or anything. I don't look in the mirror and think "ooooooooooh Kate Moss is much thinner than me", I just look and think "I don't like that".

Gok should do some non-televised thing where he makes those of us who don't want to be shown on tv (or who have Boy's who would be mortified at us going on tv!!) feel like he makes those other women feel.

But even then... does the Gok effect last?

What are you reading?

I ask this assuming someone at some point will read my blog :D

I'm on The End of Mr Y at the moment - bought purely because the pages had black edges! It is odd but good - I think probably Hatt would like it, Psycho wasn't convinced what with a comment on the back being "A ripping good yarn".

Tell me what you are reading, what kind of book it is, and if you like it (if you know me, if I would like it!!!)

I clearly don't have enough unread books on my shelves...

Parties and Boxes and Baths - oh my!

A fun day round here... hmmm....

I still have the weirdy stomach thing going on, which has now mutated into backache too. Boy says he isn't feeling well either.

The Big TV Box is still going strong - so far it has been a house, a slide, a nursery, and I think a pirate ship. Why do we bother buying toys? I think I might just get Flameboy a whole load of big boxes for his birthday.

Flamechick has been fairly calm, one tantrum over something random, but she took the punishment with minimal screaming - mainly because she had a party to go to and was scared we'd say no! The bugs in her hair are multiplying by the minute - I must have missed one pregnant git last night - the top of her hair was completely clear of eggs last night, I go to do her hair for the party and there are eggs galore! There is no way I can have missed that many eggs. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Anyway, back from party, all rargh (as expected), won't tell us what she had to eat or drink (parties are no rules, so she can eat anything going bar hot dog sausages) - so we are being prepared with sick bowl and clear path from bed to toilet tonight! I think we'll dose her up on calpol tomorrow too so we can head off the tummy ache before it starts.

Flameboy has been his happy little self. Heard running water, so leaped up the stairs (not a good move with hurty stomach!!), found him stood in the bath, running both taps and trying to clean his teeth with my toothbrush!!! Luckily he hadn't been there long, or he would have had scalded feet. From now on bathroom door must be tied shut. Girls just don't do that! (Note to self - paying attention to children rather than MN may result in fewer incidents like that)

Both are now playing happily in the bath. Peace. Is it wrong to give them 5hr long baths every day?

Me? I've done some work (not enough - never going to have a successful business like this), had coffee, and am just desperately waiting for bedtime so I can curl up on the sofa under a duvet.

What happened to the mum I planned to be? The one who wanted to spend time with her children, who was going to do fun and exciting things with them? Maybe she'll appear tomorrow....

The rest of the world has a blog...

I may as well have one too!

If nothing else it will be handy to chart my bouncing between Flamechick being broken because of me, and it being AS.

Probably an introduction is called for.

We have me - mum of 2, wife of one (they frown upon more than that), owner of an online business that I currently love and hate in equal parts.

Boy - aforementioned husband. Long suffering with my mood swings, and never being able to do anything right by me.

Flamechick - Reception aged little lady (ok, lady may be a stretch... she is more of a tom boy). Very loving little whirlwind. May or may not be AS, but at the end of the day - does it matter?

Flameboy - Nearly 2, very cute and calm - currently loves dolls and turning things into guns. It is only now sinking in how much that is a nature rather than nurture thing!

Well... That's us. I probably won't remember to post in this thing for more than a week, but tis a nice idea.